Finding shared interests is key to an engaging conversation. When we discover common ground with someone else, it strengthens our connection and provides a wealth of topics to explore. To help you turn the awkward “uh… so… how was your weekend?
Asking questions is the secret ingredient to interesting conversations. Stay away from yes-or-no questions and instead start with easy questions that feel natural. Just make sure to listen for an interesting comment to explore and build upon. If you spend the week anticipating and worrying because you know you will feel uncomfortable, you’ve set yourself up for failure. Remember why you are going—to celebrate a friend on their special day, to meet others who share your interest or to connect with your coworkers. One of the purposes of small talk, especially at company networking events, is to make connections with people who you may want to work or partner with in the future.
It isn’t a job interview or an oral exam. There are lots of other people or times to keep practicing your social skills. Good openings focus on one topic and give a clear way to reply. Here are ways to start a conversation via text, take the conversation a little deeper, and advance the chat without pressure.
Emojis can stand in for facial cues, and similar texting styles often help both people feel aligned. To get the conversation going, you’ve got to press “Send.” Don’t put it off. You’ve done the hard work choosing the conversation starter.
Once you do, it will make your social life MUCH BETTER. Because every meaningful relationship in life starts with small talk. Conversation starters for texting can help when you want to connect without pressure. Texting allows you to move at your pace, and a thoughtful conversation starter can make the conversation feel natural.
Everyone has a story to tell and by assuming the best in people, you open yourself up to learning more about their unique experiences and perspectives. People can tell when you’re not being authentic, and it can turn them off from the conversation. Show genuine interest in what the other person is saying, respond thoughtfully, and be yourself. Remember, the goal of small talk is not just to fill the silence but to also find common ground. Being funny can be a great way to break the ice and make small talk more enjoyable.
Extroverts might not dread small talk in the way many introverts do, but they can still find it annoying and boring. Extroverts can feel under more social pressure to make small talk to appear friendly with new people, such as in an interview or during a Lyft ride. Try sending the other person a link to a news article they might be interested in, a picture of something relevant, or an insightful comic strip you saw. This is a great conversation starter that can skip the small talk.
Switch Topics If They Seem Bored
You’ll know when someone wants to go deeper. They’ll lean in and make more eye contact. Politics, religion, money, and deeply personal stuff, ave all that for later.
When to shift from text to voiceIf a topic is sensitive or complex, or if humor isn’t landing, consider asking if they prefer talking on the phone. That said, if you two are in a flow, stick with what works for the moment. If you want to get to know someone, pick questions that allow a brief reply plus an easy follow‑up. These maintain momentum without pressure and help when you don’t know what to say. Choosing the right text conversation starter all comes down to building on what you know and trusting yourself. If she’s sporty, choose something in that category.
- These shared interests offer a gateway to deeper conversations and make small talk more enjoyable.
- This is also another way of showing curiosity.
- In her private telehealth practice, she works with adults navigating anxiety, identity shifts, and relationship dynamics—whether they’re dating, partnered, or parenting.
Be Enthusiastic And Positive
She also provides executive coaching and behavioral health advisory support to tech startups and legal tools reshaping how we think about love, marriage, and psychological safety. Dr. Oberling combines 10+ years of clinical expertise with modern, real-world insight to help people move through uncertainty with clarity and connection. Today, I teach social skills for a living. In this guide, I’ll share everything I know about talking to people. Start building your conversation confidence today. Join Emerald Chat and practice small talk with people from around the world in a safe, judgment-free space.
What Is Something That Really Annoys You But Doesn’t Bother Most People?
You could make a light-hearted comment or joke about your surroundings, the situation, or even the weather. Just make sure your humor is appropriate for the situation and won’t offend the other person. While it may seem like a trivial chore to some, it counterintuitively serves as a stepping stone to deeper, more meaningful connections and better conversations overall. Your favorite topic isn’t everyone else’s. You might love your new grill or your favorite book or TV show, but don’t assume everyone else is interested.
It shows that we’re friendly.7 You can find more conversation openers in this large list of small talk questions. At social events, as we talked about before, the norm is that strangers present themselves to each other. In day-to-day life, on the other hand, you can’t be so direct.
Here are some specifics that you can use with my tips from the previous section. Open-ended questions generate an interesting, dynamic conversation and encourage the person you’re speaking with to open up. Give people a chance to answer open-ended questions rather than giving straight yeses or nos. This is also another way of showing curiosity. As Muñoz notes, “Great interviewers know how to make people feel special by being genuinely fascinated by other people. Ask open-ended questions.” One of the quickest ways to start bonding with someone new is by finding common ground.
Introverts, especially, can find it draining and would rather focus on more meaningful discussion topics. Small talk isn’t just about casual chit-chat; it can also serve as a stepping stone to deeper, more meaningful interactions. When you listen in this way, it’s easier to show you are genuinely interested in the person and keep them involved in the conversation. It also helps you avoid talking about https://catherinepass.weebly.com/blog/what-is-fanfills-the-light-space-i-found-when-i-needed-a-break-from-the-deep-work yourself too much. Simple follow-up questions like, “Why is that? ” can lead to deeper and more engaging conversations.
Don’t cross your arms or stare at your phone. Your body language tells people whether you want to talk or not. If you look like you’d rather be anywhere else, people will leave you alone.
Talking about celebrities could become a conversation about privacy laws. Discussing vacations could lead you to talk about the impact of tourism on local communities. Try skipping this stage by being honest about who you are and your thoughts and feelings. This can take confidence, but as long as you’re respectful, others will usually respond better than you might expect. This isn’t an excuse to be mean, but being completely honest can help to refresh your conversation and move on from small talk. People have more options when it comes to dating nowadays than ever before.
Ask open-ended questions and try to find common ground. When in doubt, ask questions about the other person—people love to talk about themselves. Avoid negativity, gossip, and heavy topics like politics. While it’s good to steer away from mundane topics, it’s also crucial to avoid controversial ones, especially in a first-time or casual conversation. Subjects like politics, religion, and personal finances can quickly turn a light-hearted chat into a heated debate.
The key to keeping conversations going over text is a lighthearted vibe. Online chats aren’t about delving too deep. Text exchanges are all about maintaining emotional momentum and setting up dates.
Instead, I ask how they spend their time. Questions like this one open the door to more interesting conversations. If the person’s initial response is work-related, I follow up with, “What do you do when you’re not working? ” Just keep asking questions and share comments that relate their story to yours.
Instead of rushing to fill the silence with more small talk, take a moment to reflect on what’s been said and where the conversation could go next. A simple open-ended question or a genuine compliment can be a great way to gracefully resume the conversation and steer it in a positive direction. Approaching the conversation with a positive mindset can make you feel more relaxed and help the conversation flow more naturally.
Simply being a nice person with no personality will not work when it comes to standing out. So let’s dive into the specific questions you can ask while texting. Often, when we ask ourselves this question, it can help us figure out if it’s fine to say something or not. If a confident person can say it, so can we.
Instead, ask open-ended questions that elicit a longer response and encourage the other person to keep talking. The key to finding these shared interests is to stay curious, ask open-ended questions, and listen attentively to the other person’s responses. While small talk can cover a broad range of subjects, certain topics are best to avoid, especially when you’re just getting to know someone. Alternatively, you could take some conversational English classes with a private tutor using a service like Preply. Let them know you want to focus on small talk skills, and they’ll be able to guide you and build your confidence. Entering an event with a few questions prepared in your mind can make small talk easier and less awkward.